Monday, March 23, 2009
so slow
it is a strange and paradoxical to be feeling so conflicted, yet simultaneously be amidst an unshakable inner peace. a peace that stems from some sort of connection to the universe, an unspoken trust in all that is to come. patience may be a virtue, but is one of the hardest things in the world for me to grasp. i mean that in every way possible. constantly feeling on the edge of something greater on all levels, yet seemingly always coming up empty handed. so tired of fruitless searches. i may be on the right track, but the train is moving ever so slowly, and i don't even know my stop.
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Funny, I was thinking of just this on my trip back to St. Auggie this eve. Sometimes, it's so frustrating to remain patient when I know I'm capable of making something happen, I've got all of the tools, and everything within my control is in place...and yet, I'm waiting. There are always outside constraints. I think the frustrations became a little less and the "inner peace" becomes "unshakable" when we realize this. And rather than stare out upon the slow-moving graffiti walls and abandoned oil tanks, we just have to continue feeding coal into the firebox.
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